Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Simply Huge !!!

When I boarded my district line tube this morning at Earls Court I thought someone had left a hot air ballon on the train. However on closer inspection it was a human woman as I could see a head sticking out of a huge padded coat (she didnt need it) and an equally huge packback which must have been her packed lunch rather than gym kit. There she was hanging onto the central pole as the doors open. The whole entry section of the train was taken up by this monument. I did see that the other side of her there was quite a bit of room so I gently (at first) said excuse me and squeezed passed. She raised her head from her phone game and looked at me peckishly and I said can I get through there as there is plenty of space. I slotted home but then as she turned I was buffeted by her bag. I looked and realised that from her front her back including rucksack must have been 4ft. As the train filled up there she stood like the Colosuss of Rhodes but fatter. It occurred to me that if a bomb went off i would be safe behind her. Then a seat appeared and christ did she move..... Off came the backpack and she swallowed a couple of rivals before squeezing most of herself and her big coat into a seat. 2 stops later I looked over and she was gone..... perhaps it was all a dream.