Passenger Scum

I am really getting pissed off with the selfish bastards that use the tube.

Every day I have to ask people to move in when they are blocking the doors making the train look full when there is lots of room inside. They look at you like you have just asked to borrow their wife. I usually either shove them in or squeeze past them and show them how much room there really is. I have been known to say "see there's room for a bloody juggler in here" but then everyone of course looks at you in that embarrassed way like you are a nutter.

Then there are the rucksacks and bags that people insist on wearing on the tube rather than placing it between their feet. They shove you about with no regard. I am trying to come up with something to combat it like pinching a girls arse when her handbag shoves me and saying "oh sorry I thought you were touching me up so I thought I would have a go" or a little razor to slit open the bottom of blokes rucksacks so that everything inside falls out.

As ever though its the music coming from peoples earphones that pisses me off most but far short of giving them evil looks or pretending to talk to them by just moving your lips there is not much that can be done.

I am thinking of getting some little stickers made though so that I can slip them onto peoples backs or bags. Something subtle like "I'm a Twat"
Designs or suggestions welcome